I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
