WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
