thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize