Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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