You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
