You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
