The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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