we made out on top of his cat.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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