I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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