Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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