what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
