Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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