we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
