He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My ATM looks so different sober.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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