We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
