People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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