I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
