I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
