don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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