i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
