i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
