I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
