I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i wish my penis had a tongue
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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