You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
