So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
