i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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