Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i came on her dog
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
