why didn't you poke me back
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
