shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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