I need help removing her.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I think i got beer on your cat.
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