NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
