this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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