Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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