Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we're making bets on your personal life
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
