i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
