sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
