Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
