Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
