she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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