Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
