I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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