youre lurking in front of me
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize