Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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