I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
