Buhtt sex?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
