i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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