I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
