Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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