How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
