I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
