Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
