The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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