You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
