What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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