imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
