I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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