I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
