Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
