i used baking grease as lip gloss
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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