So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
